the dream. step by step.

marc jacobs & vera wang

WE LOVE YOU.

me & you besties are going to have a long life together haha, you getting hitched, us and our fake wedding, continuously running across streets in heels, trying to break in to find mj and get our dresses, we go this & i got you! (:

the land of the lost.

thats exactly where i belong.

LOST.

I HATE MICHELLE TU.

shes a bitch, she got a higher score on the extra credit test and i studied and she didnt, that bitch.

IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS. THATTTTT BITTCCCHh

hahhahhaaha

anyways

im so fucked

i am going to get a b in this class,….BYE HOPKINS. T_____T i am not EVER going to get into hopkins at this point, my dreams T___T i sit here in class complaining to michelle and christina on how i wont get into college, gosh im anal IM NOT GETTING INTO GRAD SCHOOOOOLLL MY LIFE IS OVERRRRRRR

F THIS.

they will take me, im the reject! FUCKKKKK sometimes i hate my dreams cause i know they are tooo high yet i still want to do it and yet i fail at it, so i fail at being extraordinary, i guess i can settle for semi-extraordinary. whatever

im so over this class, i just want my fucking b and leave—grad school whatever i dont give anymore i can go where ever the fuck life takes me

FUCK MY CURSING.

the thing is i cant blame anyone but me.

T____T WHY THE HELL DID I DO HOMECOMING T___T i had too thoughhh but fuck my habits, fuck passing out in the middle of the night, cause i aint living shit i could be partying and drinking my life away but no i am in over my head making sure i can do everything i  can in order to get ahead in life,

ambition-I HATE YOU

DRIVE- I HATE YOU.

I A BITTER CYNIC. am i going to get through this honestly one day im going to look back at this post and be like god youre a fucking loser and i know that but to work so hard for everything i have and you cant deny i DONT cause I KNOW  I DO, and have everything fall apart in your hands„ welll IT SUCKS, but i dont expect anyone that i know to feel sorry for me acutally i dont expect anyone to feel sympathy for me i just want people to understand that it’s not always cause im lazy or im incompetent, it’s just sometimes you lose sight of what the point is through the midst of all the shit you have to do, it’s just you fail and fail again until one day you are ok again

people question my choices and i question them too, sometimes however i feel like i want to go out and make all of the mistakes now so i can be wiser later on in life, maybe it wont be as crazy or fun but i want to obtain my dream, pero no pienso yo poder to achieve it. but then again bob the builder jumps in my mind and says yes you can! (:

whatever i got to pay attention in class now

XOXO

believe in your mark.

livethelife:

you’re going to change the world some day.  actually, you’re doing it right now.  in little ways and big ways.  in unexpected ways, too.  believe in the mark you will leave on this place.  it’s bound to be a great one.

sometimes i feel like a failure than there are other days where i feel like i can walk all over this world.

god help me

wish me luck!

tell me im going to be okay.

i know i am, but sometimes those words could mean the world to someone, despite everything’s happening you’re going to be okay.

the time of day is darkest before the dawn...

trying to be stronger and accept things for what it is. trying to juggle my plate of all good things. trying to make up for lost time…i love you all people in my lives & you know what eating hot dogs and divulging on ice cream in the sac was better than partying. i really hate partying, shit, but i think i was on a high yesterday today i went to school 1 hour late, it’s like i let myself down over and over again until i learn from my mistakes. i actually liked my dress yesterday & my mom got it for me! that dress was crazy short but the one shouldered aspect and ruffles made me happy, so i just jumped in it and died in the freezing cold. today i had 2 cups of hot coco and now im sitting next to the christmas tree and i am feeling hope that one day i will find my way to what the hell i want. (: lately i have been feeling lost and it’s quite alarming since i am so used to knowing what i want and attacking it. but i’m refocused in a sense i had a 3 hour nap today and watched football, now i got calculus homework all 9 lessons AHAHA (THANK GOD FOR NAPS), 3 chapters of Frankenstein,  spanish wksh and im good.

okay i got to go,

i want people to believe in me, i want to stop losing control, i want to control my destiny, i want to believe in myself again.

people need to take me seriously and i will provide them with proof

okay so i admit.

i am sometimes overworked SOMETIMES. i said it and the car errupted in laughter.

rejected.

joy. you suck! (; me & dianne? YOU JERK!

today was tiring and eventful.

i love you besties & it was not awkward at all.

exhausted

WINTER BALL TONIGHT.

XOXO

then quit high school.

thanks dad,

seriously?

you don’t have to crush my dreams okay?

I am sorry I don’t know what I want anymore. I am sorry I don’t want just one thing, I am sorry if I can’t decide between journalism or becoming a doctor, i love both, please just let me try them out. no, dad, it’ s not you, all of a sudden i feel like littel jenny humphrey —-and it’s not remotely funny.

sats are tom-

FCUK.

XOXO